


Teenage Kicks

by notarelationship (justpracticing)



Category: Glee
Genre: Hopefully canon-compliant, Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 10:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8053591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justpracticing/pseuds/notarelationship
Summary: Now that Sam is living with them, the Hudson-Hummel house always seems to be full of teenagers.





	1. Friday Night Dinner

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KillerQueen80](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerQueen80/gifts).



> Written for this prompt: (adding it to the front because I think it will help a little)
> 
> In Canon: Season 3, the Hudmel house with Sam living there, the girls and Blaine coming in and out visiting Kurt, how Burt and Carol react to a house full of teenagers, shenanigans
> 
> A few notes before we get started: There are three chapters (two will post tonight and the third tomorrow (it's still fighting me a little). They should be seen more as vignettes than a chronological series of events. 
> 
> Also, I find writing in canon intimidating, because it can mean different things to everyone, especially in Glee. I hope this works for you!

Carole pushed open the front door, balancing a bag of groceries on one hip, not at all surprised to see Blaine hop up off of the couch to help her.

“Thank you Blaine,” she said, giving him a pat on the shoulder. Turning to ask Kurt to help get the rest of the bags, she noticed Mercedes sitting in a chair pulled near to the coffee table. “Oh, hi Mercedes, I didn’t see you there.” Carole stepped into the living room to give Mercedes a hug. “How are you dear? 

Mercedes laughed. “Hi, Carole. I’m good. Well other than this homework project. We have to do a scene from Shakespeare, but these ridiculous boys can’t seem to decide which one they want to do. Kurt keeps insisting we should do the Three Witches from Macbeth and Blaine wants to to A Midsummer Night’s Dream. At this point I just want them to pick one so we can get started.”

“Oh, that all sounds like too much work to be fun. Though I confess I was surprised to not walk in on Kurt and Blaine making out on the couch again.” 

Mercedes laughed. “Yeah I can tell they get a little itchy at school. I know they’re not real comfortable doing that in public, and I don’t really blame them. Still so many idiots at McKinley.” Mercedes shook her head.

“Well, Kurt has complained about that often. He’s been lobbying Burt for a loosening of the rules around having Blaine in his room with the door shut.” Carole shook her head. “Sometimes I’m not sure Burt remembers what it was like being a teenager.”

“Burt remembers entirely too well what it was like being a teenager, he’ll have you know,” Burt said, coming into the house right behind Kurt and Blaine. They had both come back with bags in each arm, Burt trailing along. “Which is why there will be no loosening of any bedroom door rules at this time.”

“That is fantastically unfair, Dad,” Kurt said. “And Carole, at least three of those bags had nothing but chips in them! What happened to all those more healthy shopping lists I made?”

“Your dad knows he is not to eat those chips,” Carole answered, Burt grumbling ‘I know I know’ in the background. “You must have missed the bags filled with veggie burgers and broccoli.” 

Kurt frowned. “Okay, but I’d really rather he didn’t have the temptation around.”

“I understand, honey, but honestly with Sam here now and you boys and all your friends spending all your time here on weekends I can barely keep the pantry stocked. Most of those won’t last the weekend with Finn around anyway.”

As if on cue, Blaine walked into the living room carrying a bag. “These Terra chips are my favorite Carole, do you mind if I have some?”

Carole smirked at Kurt, then turned back to Blaine. “Of course dear, I remember you said you liked them so I bought them for you.”

Blaine grinned at her. “Thanks,” he said, rejoining Mercedes at the coffee table.

Kurt rolled his eyes and followed Blaine. “I think we’ll be done with this soon Carole, and Blaine and I can help you with dinner after that. If that’s okay?”

“That’s fine honey. I’ll get everything put away.” Carole stood, but turned back. “Can you stay for dinner Mercedes? I’d love to up the estrogen at the dinner table for a change.”

“Yeah, Mercedes, I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while,” Burt encouraged.

“Thank you for the invite,” Mercedes laughed. “Only if it’s not any trouble, I don’t have to be right home.”

“It’s no trouble at all honey. Kurt’s doing the cooking.” Carole winked.

“I can drive you home after dinner,” Blaine offered. “I have to be home early tonight to drive to Cincinnati tomorrow with my mom.”

“Great, thanks Blaine! I’ll just call my mom and let her know,” Mercedes said, picking up her phone and heading toward the kitchen.

“I’m going to get washed up,” Burt said, but he turned before he got to the hall. “Hey Kurt, have you heard from Finn? He didn’t forget that today is Friday again, did he?”

“Oh no,” Kurt answered, just a bit of edge in his voice. “He’s at Rachel’s, no doubt in her bedroom with the door closed.”

Burt rolled his eyes, rubbing a hand over his face. “Kurt we have had this discussion. Not that I don’t trust you Blaine.”

Blaine waved his hands in front of him, wanting no part in this argument.

“No, no, it’s fine Dad. Blaine and I will continue to hold hands and exchange chaste kisses like the delicate, non-hormonal, gay teens we are - ”

“Kurt - ” Blaine interrupted. But quietly.

Kurt frowned at Blaine, but he sighed and stopped his tirade. “Finn will be home at 6:30. And he is picking Sam up from school on the way.”

\--

“I’m sorry about earlier,” Kurt said. They had finished their homework and had left Mercedes in the living room chatting with Carole while they started dinner. “I just get so frustrated sometimes.”

Blaine turned from chopping tomatoes and gave him his most sympathetic smile. “I get it. I mean, I really get it. We haven’t had a lot of time alone lately.” He stepped closer and gave Kurt a lingering kiss on his cheek. “I’d like to get you alone too,” he breathed into Kurt’s ear.

“Hey dudes!” Sam burst into the kitchen and went straight for the fridge. “Hey do we have any Gatorade, or Powerade, or some other kind of ade?” 

“Hi Sam,” Blaine said, pulling away from Kurt, but less suddenly than he would have if they had been in school.

“I think Carole just bought some, it might still be down the stairs.” Kurt pointed toward the basement door with his chef’s knife. 

Sam stood up grinning. “Cool, thanks bro.” He grabbed a bottle and gave both Kurt and Blaine each slaps on their shoulders. “Do I have time to shower before dinner’s ready?”

“I will not allow you to sit at the table if you do not shower Sam, you reek of gym and boy stink.”

“But I thought you liked - ” Kurt slapped his hand over Sam’s mouth, and Blaine chuckled behind him.

“Go. Shower. Now. And tell Finn to get cleaned up too.” Kurt removed his hand and Sam laughed his way out of the kitchen and down the hall.

They finished getting everything ready, and Kurt went up to his room to change his shirt, so Blaine hung out with Mercedes and Carole. After a few minutes he got tired of waiting, and went upstairs to get Kurt. He got to the hallway just as Sam was exiting the bathroom, dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Oh, uh, sorry,” Blaine stammered. He saw the guys all the time in the locker room and it was nothing. They didn’t seem to mind him there, and he never really found himself looking where he knew it might not be wanted. And he’d spent a lot of time in locker rooms with guys, after lacrosse and when he was boxing regularly. But apparently all that being comfortable with a bunch of naked straight guys went out the window when there was only one.

“Oh hey, is dinner ready already?” Sam asked. Blaine pointedly did not look at the water dripping over Sam’s left nipple. 

“Uh, yeah. In a few minutes. I was coming up to get Kurt.”

“Oh, cool,” Sam said. Like he wasn’t naked and standing right in front of Blaine. Blaine shook his head, trying to shake off what he’d just been staring at, very inappropriately. Sam walked off and Blaine rushed down the hall toward Kurt’s room.

“Kurt?”

“Oh hey.” Kurt was bent over in his closet picking something up off of the floor. Unfortunately he was wearing a shirt. “Is the chicken ready? I got distracted by - _oomf_?”

Blaine shut the door behind him and tugged Kurt by the hand, spinning him around until he had him pushed up against the wall and kissed him. Not too hard, but eager, fingers gripping Kurt by the hips. To his credit it only took Kurt about two seconds to get with the program, kissing back in between mumbling words like “door” and “dad” and “dinner” while Blaine was trying to stick his tongue into Kurt’s mouth.

But as expected, it wasn’t two minutes before there was a knock on the door and Burt shouting “Sixty seconds!” from the other side of it.

Blaine pulled away with a wet smack to Kurt’s mouth. “I’m sorry, I just -”

“Mmm hmm, I know.” Kurt tipped his forehead against Blaine’s. “But we should really go downstairs now.”

\--

Dinner turned out to be even louder than the average affair, what with Kurt and Mercedes both telling and laughing at glee club stories, and Blaine and Finn arguing about college football, and Sam campaigning loudly in favor of adapting more country songs for their upcoming Regionals competition to anyone at the table who would listen. Burt and Carole spent the entire meal either laughing or smirking at each other.

When it was time to leave, Kurt followed Blaine out to the car to say goodbye while Mercedes gathered her things. They had been kissing far longer than they thought they'd be allowed when the slam of the front screen door broke them apart.

Mercedes was marching across the lawn, with Sam hot on her heels. They stopped halfway across the lawn, heard Mercedes say an emphatic “Sam, you have to stop” before turning toward the car. She gave Kurt a frustrated goodbye hug and got in on the passenger's side. 

Kurt and Blaine exchanged puzzled looks and a final goodbye kiss, and Kurt walked back into the house behind Sam, while Blaine got behind the wheel.

Blaine waited until he pulled out of the driveway to say something.

“So, um, if you want to talk? Or anything?”

“Nope.” Mercedes sighed, giving in to Blaine’s questioning look. “It's not you Blaine. You're probably a very good listener. I just have some things to process.”

He gave her a patient smile. “Okay.”

\--

Back at the Hummel-Hudson house Burt leaned over to turn out the light on his bedside table.

“Did you ever think - ?”

“No,” Carole answered, a little in awe. “And who knew it would be this much fun?”


	2. The Lima Bean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Extra houseguests make it hard to find time to be alone with your boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And because I'm a chump I totally forgot to thank my trusty beta, honeysucklepink, who keeps me honest and remembers things I can't seem to keep in my head.

“Do you think your parents let you come over again this Friday? We haven’t had a movie night in a while, and you always love Friday night dinner.” Kurt smiled hopefully as he set Blaine’s medium drip down in front of him. The Lima Bean was unusually crowded for a Thursday afternoon and Blaine had gone ahead and scored a table while Kurt bought their coffee.

“Is Sam going to be there?”

“He went to visit his parents last weekend, so probably, why? I thought you and Sam were getting along now? It seemed like you two choreographed your way into a tentative friendship with that Sectionals win?” Kurt lifted one questioning eyebrow.

Blaine shrugged. “Oh, we are. I mean I think we are? It’s just – it was hard enough to get time alone with you before, but now that’s Sam is living at your house it’s impossible,” he said. Lowering his voice, he added, “And I miss our alone time, if you catch my drift.”

Blaine did like Sam, even if maybe they weren’t quite close friends. Sam was nice and kind of goofy, and probably one of the least judgmental people Blaine had met since transferring to McKinley (even if he was maybe a little _too_ good looking). But he couldn’t help feeling they’d had to put the brakes on the recently advanced physical side of their relationship because there were suddenly people at Kurt’s house all of the time. With Sam there Kurt’s house had become the main hangout for the New Directions, at least for the guys.

Kurt lowered his eyes as a sly smile that Blaine was quickly learning was something that Kurt saved for him alone spread across his features.

“Oh, I definitely catch your drift.” Kurt reached across the tables and tangled his fingers with Blaine’s for just a moment before letting go with a sigh. “Maybe you could come over early? We could hang out before dinner? Or maybe, if you want - ” Kurt stopped and bit his lower lip. The wriggle Blaine did in his seat at that was almost unconscious. Kurt lowered his voice. “If you want we could go out in the car and make out in the parking lot now.”

Blaine could feel his eyes go wide. Making out in a car in the middle of the day was pretty public for Kurt.

“Kurt it’s the middle of the afternoon.” He leaned forward and whispered, “It’s still daylight. Someone might see.”

“I’ve got Dad’s truck – the windows are tinted. We can put the seat down, if you want? No one will see in. Please?”

Kurt was tapping his fingers on the table, and he looked so eager. And it felt like it had been weeks since they’d had any time alone that wasn’t rushed. Not that this wouldn’t be rushed, but at least no one would walk in on them, or come home early. They couldn’t spend hours in the back seat of Burt’s truck making out – mostly because they didn’t have hours – but it was something. Blaine felt his face heat up at the thought of kissing Kurt, touching Kurt – at the thought of Kurt touching him.

“Yes,” he ducked his head in a single nod. “Let’s go. Now.”

\--

They climbed into the truck, and Kurt immediately stuck his dad’s Ohio State Buckeyes window shade in the front window, turning to Blaine with a smirk.

“There. Now it looks like any other truck in Western Ohio. No one should bother us.”

There wasn’t a lot of room in the back seat of the truck, but they opted out of putting the seat down. Instead Kurt tugged on his shoulders and Blaine climbed onto Kurt’s lap, straddling him as he pulled his face up to kiss him, a little sloppy at first. There was tugging and pulling and touching and in no time Kurt’s scarf was on the seat and Blaine’s bowtie hanging loose around his neck.

“God, Kurt, I _oh, oh, yeah,_ I miss this – can we - ” Blaine’s lips traveled to Kurt’s ear, down his neck, his tongue tracing along Kurt’s jaw to his mouth.

Kurt hummed against his mouth. “Can we what? _Ahh,_ Blaine!”

“Can we skip Friday dinner? Can you come to my house instead?”

Kurt panted in Blaine's ear. “You know I can’t.”

“Mmmm, okay, how about if I skip it and you come over Saturday instead. My dad has some golf thing all day and Mom is volunteering at the animal shelter. We’ll be alone all day.”

Kurt pulled his mouth away from Blaine, tugging Blaine’s hair until he could look at Blaine’s face.

“All day?” His voice already held the kind of sexy broken need that drove Blaine’s teenage libido right to the edge (and more often than not over it).

Kurt sucked a kiss to his Adam’s apple and Blaine could only groan. “ _Unnhh_ huh.”

“Yes, yes. I’ll come over.” Kurt kissed him hard. “Now shut up.”

Blaine was grinding down onto Kurt’s lap, he knew they couldn’t go too far, that they’d have to stop, but Kurt’s hips were shifting up to meet him, and he didn’t want to stop, he just wanted –

**_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_ **

“What the f - _OW_!”

Blaine yelped as he jumped off of Kurt’s lap, all of the headroom not enough to keep him from knocking his head against the roof of the truck. He rubbed the top of his head and looked at Kurt, his heart racing from a combination of the feeling of Kurt’s tongue on his Adam’s apple and the sudden banging on the car window. Kurt shook his head, and grabbed Blaine’s free hand, squeezing his fingers.

Someone yelled outside the truck. “Finn! Hey! Are you in there?”

It was Sam.

“Oh my God.” Kurt shifted toward the door, pressing the auto-locks to unlock the door before pulling the handle and pushing it open. “Sam! What are you doing?”

Blaine could see Sam move back from Kurt’s ire. It was a natural response, Blaine had occasionally experienced a similar recoil.

“You’re not Finn,” Sam said.

“In fact I am not Finn,” Kurt said, his voice rising with irritation. “And I ask you again – What are you doing here?”

“OH! Finn was supposed to pick me up here after he drove Rachel home, but he wasn’t inside so I came out here thinking maybe he was just sitting in the parking lot. I saw the truck and thought it must be him.” Sam was grinning at Kurt, leaning against the door to the truck. After about a second or two he seemed to notice Blaine sitting on the seat next to Kurt, and waved. “Oh. Hey Blaine.”

Blaine was still vibrating everywhere from the sudden shock of not making out with Kurt any more. He had to swallow a few times before he could manage to respond, but he eventually nodded and flicked one hand. “Hey Sam.”

Kurt looked back over his shoulder at him, then back at Sam. “Well Finn isn’t here. Did you try to call him?”

“Uh, no, not yet. I thought you were him so…what are you guys doing out here in the parking lot anyway?” Blaine could see Sam finally notice Kurt’s slight state of dishevelment, the buttons of his shirt undone and his hair falling out on the side where Blaine had just moments ago had his hand buried. Blaine imagined that he looked just as worked over. “Oh. Dude. I am _so_ sorry – Blaine, oh man – I should just let you guys get back to what you were doing,”

Sam took a step backward, and Kurt was reaching to pull the door shut when Blaine put a hand on his arm. Kurt turned to look at him. 

“It’s getting late. I should probably go anyway.” It was the last thing Blaine wanted to do. If it were up to him he’d stay in the cab of that truck and kiss Kurt for hours. But it really was getting late.

Kurt pouted, but gave up when Blaine leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Walk me to my car?”

When Kurt got back to the truck Sam had already buckled himself in and started the car so he could play with the radio. Since he had moved in he had reset at least one preset button in each car to the local country station, and he was busy singing along to some song Kurt didn’t want to know the name of.

“Hey man, I’m sorry about the cockblock,” Sam said once they had pulled out of the parking lot.

Kurt glared at him for just a moment before relaxing into a sigh.

“It’s not your fault. Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay but, I cover for Finn all the time. So if you ever need any help arranging some time alone I’d be happy to help.” Sam shrugged. “Just so long as we don’t make the story too complicated.”

“Thanks Sam. I will keep that in mind.”

“Awesome.” Kurt pulled out of the parking lot without another word, and Sam leaned forward to turn the radio up, singing along with the song blaring from the speakers. “I know you know this one.” 

“Oh my god.” Kurt rolled his eyes. Country music was so not his thing, although this song had potential. 

“Come on Kurt, sing with me!” Sam started singing.

Kurt side-eyed Sam, aware that he needed to keep his eyes on the road. But he could never resist an invitation to sing. Sam grinned at him as the chorus came in, and Kurt opened his mouth to join in:

_“I bought these new heels,_  
did my nails, had my hair done just right.  
I thought this new dress was a sure bet  
for romance tonight.  
Well it's perfectly clear,  
between the TV and beer,  
I won't get so much as a kiss.  
As I head for the door,  
I turn around to be sure,  
did I shave my legs for this?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * _Did I Shave My Legs For This?_ ” by Deanna Carter


	3. Spa Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt's meticulously planned spa night with the girls doesn't turn out exactly how he planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to post this yesterday, but I spent all day wrestling it (and am wearing the wrist brace to prove it). It fought hard, but I think I worked it out. Hope it makes sense!

Later, when defending himself to his boyfriend, Kurt would point out that he had been studying for his French mid term when Blaine mentioned it and therefore wasn’t really paying close enough attention. It probably made him not as good of a boyfriend in that very minute as he should be (or that he wanted to be. He really wanted to be the best boyfriend Blaine could ever have. Also the only boyfriend Blaine would ever have, but that was something he tried not to think about all that often. It was too early for that and probably wasn’t healthy), but his French grade had been on the line.

However, it turned out that Blaine had in fact asked if Kurt minded if he stopped by the house on Saturday, and Kurt had said no, of course he didn’t mind, and reminded him that it was spa night and he’d be with the girls.

Blaine had just shrugged and said, “That’s cool.”

\--

Burt leaned against the kitchen island, frowning as he gnawed on a baby carrot from the bowl of veggies that Kurt had put out. He had come home early to get ready for date night with Carole, hoping to sneak some of the snacks, but he should have known there would only be healthy options.

“Now Rachel, I want you to get exactly the mud masks I wrote down...yes, I have all of the mani/pedi supplies...I spoke to Mercedes she’s expecting you to pick her up by seven...no I have all the snacks we’ll need...yes I have the vegan butter substitute for your popcorn. Okay Rach, See you then.” Kurt ended the call and turned to Burt. “Hi Dad.”

“Hey Kurt. You all set for tonight? No last minute pizza runs?” He wasn’t hopeful. He knew Carole was going to make him eat healthy at dinner and the promise of a single slice of pizza when he got home would take the edge off.

“Don’t think I’m not on to you Dad.” Kurt smirked. “I think we’ll be getting that whole wheat vegan cheese pizza Rachel likes, if you want me to save you a slice or two?”

“Not really, no.” Burt popped another carrot into his mouth with a sigh, talking around it as he left the kitchen. “But you kids go ahead and enjoy that.”

\--

Kurt went upstairs to set up the cot and make sure he had enough clean towels (the good ones he picked out at the beginning of the school year always wound up on the floor in Finn’s bedroom and he had to wash them twice so they didn’t stink.) The plan was to start with pedicures & snacks, followed by mud masks, and then manis for all so they could watch a movie while the girls’ nail polish dried. The accompanying gossip would of course be ongoing. They were long overdue.

When he came back down to the kitchen, Finn, Puck, Mike and Artie were eating the snacks he had set out.

“Those are not for you.” He slapped Finn’s hand as he dug into the bowl of nuts. “What are you doing?”

Finn blinked at him twice, as if he didn’t quite understand the question. “Eating?”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “No Finn. What are you doing here? Rachel and Mercedes are on their way over for spa night. You’re supposed to be gone.”

“Where am I supposed to be?” Finn’s eyes were flicking around at the other guys, as if they might know the answer. They all shrugged.

“I don’t know - Puck’s, Artie’s - not here. Carole was supposed to tell you to clear out.”

“That doesn’t make any sense! Why would I have to leave? Rachel’s my girlfriend - and, and Mom said I could have the guys over!” He snapped his fingers and pointed them at Kurt for emphasis. “Two days ago!”

“Well Dad okayed spa night on _Monday_ , so you all need to find somewhere else to belch and shout at the television,” Kurt hissed. “And besides, the last time you had a videogame night I found a slice of pizza under the couch two days later! Two days, Finn!”

“Woah woah! What’s all the noise?” Burt stepped into the kitchen and cut short their argument. “I could hear the two of you going at it from upstairs.”

“Finn seems to think that Carole told him it was okay to have a video game night - ”

“She did.” Carole came bustling into the kitchen, looking very much like she was ready for a date and not an argument with her children. “Burt, I asked you what we had going on tonight and you said ‘isn't it date night?’ You did not mention Kurt was having the girls over. I told Finn he could have his friends over.”

“I did?” Burt pursed his lips and just said “Huh,” exchanging a look with Carole that would have said ‘can we just leave and not deal with this?’ if anyone had been paying attention.

“Dad! Spa night!” Kurt was almost begging.

Burt was about to speak, but Sam and Blaine came in through the side door, Blaine laughing at one of Sam’s terrible impressions. Kurt rolled his eyes. He didn’t have time to figure out what was wrong with his boyfriend at the moment.

Blaine seemed surprised to see him though. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here.”

“I thought you were going to be at Rachel’s. For spa night?”

“Spa night is here Blaine, I am sure I told you that.”

“Hey Hudmels,” Puck interrupted. “As much as I enjoy a good family blow-up that does not involve me, do we need to hang out for this?”

“No, man,” Finn said. “Go ahead and help Artie downstairs. We’ll be cool.”

“Wait, wait, you are not staying here – Blaine?” He stopped when Blaine went to follow the guys down the stairs. _“You’re here to play video games?”_ Kurt’s mouth dropped open.

“I told you earlier in the week? Remember?” Blaine shrugged. “I figured since you were busy, I – I thought you were going to be at Rachel’s.”

“Okay look guys,” Burt interrupted. “You’re all here already, you’re all friends, you’re all capable of being reasonably responsible - ” he put extra emphasis on that last part, “you might as well just have a night of it.” Kurt huffed, and Burt turned to look at him. “If you really want to keep away from the guys you can have the upstairs, Finn and the guys will stay downstairs. It’ll be like you’re each having your own separate parties.”

Finn fist pumped the air. “Yes!”

Kurt scowled, but softened just as fast. “Fine. I suppose there’s not much risk of any of you coming upstairs asking us to paint your toenails.”

“Not a chance little brother,” Finn grinned and ran down the stairs. Blaine gave Kurt a quick kiss on the cheek, grinned, and followed Finn.

\--

“Well I’m starving,” Burt said, as he and Carole slid into the booth at Breadstix. “Maybe we could start with the mozzarella sticks? I promise I won’t tell Kurt if you don’t.”

Carole shook her head at her husband. Burt was a grown man and responsible in every way, but there were some times when he was just as much of a teenager as Kurt or Finn.

“That depends honey. How much have you cheated this week?”

Burt frowned, but he thought about it. “Only twice. Wait – three times. I had wings on Wednesday with Jerry at lunch.”

“Ok, you can have the mozzarella sticks but you will have the salad or the chicken breast for dinner. And dessert can be fruit.” Burt sighed. “And you will not tell Kurt.”

They ordered, discussed the movie they had just seen, the garage – Burt was definitely not spending enough time there lately. Thankfully Carole had been handling the business end while he was in Washington.

Once they’d run through their relationship updates, Burt asked the question that had been on his mind all night. “Do you think we were crazy to leave them all there together?”

“Who?” Carole forked some spaghetti into her mouth, noticing the longing look Burt was giving her dish of pasta.

“What do you mean who? The kids? All those kids.” He paused, his eyebrows knotting together. “There were a lot of them.”

“They’re good kids Burt,” she assured him, then sighed, “Most of the time anyway. Besides, there are too many of them there for them to get into too much trouble, right?”

Burt chuckled. “Now which one of us doesn’t remember what it was like to be a teenager?”

\--

This wasn’t the first time Kurt had meticulously planned an evening of fun and facemasks that had unraveled into what could best be described as vaguely controlled chaos. He decided that it was a sign of personal growth that he didn’t really mind.

Half an hour after Burt and Carole had left Santana and Brittany had shown up, dragging Rory in with them, and they were sitting around the dining room table with Mercedes and Sam teaching Rory how to play poker (although from the looks of things it was possible that Rory was the one schooling them). Finn had been knocked out of the Mario Kart tournament early and was now in the kitchen letting Rachel apply a deep pore cleansing mud mask to his face, and Blaine was still downstairs with the rest of the guys.

He was bringing a fresh round of snacks into the basement when Blaine jumped up from his spot on the floor and tugged him into the corner.

“What about your game?” Kurt asked, although the insistent press of Blaine’s mouth on his neck was suggesting pretty strongly that he wasn’t playing this round. And on top of that Kurt could smell alcohol on Blaine’s breath. When he finally got to Kurt’s mouth he could taste it too. “Have you been drinking?” He whispered.

Blaine pinched his finger and thumb together, leaving a small space. “Just a little. Puck had some rum he put in my coke.”

“Blaine! I don’t want my dad to ban you from the house! You have to be careful.”

“I will, I am, I promise - and Burt’s not here,” Blaine shuffled closer, tugging Kurt against him and kissing him, longer this time. Kurt melted into it without any more protests. Blaine’s body was loose and his mouth was wet and warm. Kurt knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. Or something.

“Good god could you two get a room?” Puck complained. “I really don’t need the audible distraction, if you don’t mind.”

“Mmm, room” Blaine pulled away. “Excellent idea.” Without waiting for Kurt to say anything Blaine took his hand and pulled Kurt up the stairs and through the kitchen.

Finn’s mouth was stuck from the mask, but he asked anyway. “What’r you ding?” Rachel was laughing at his effort.

“Just gonna go upstairs for a minute. Or two.” Kurt waved like it was no big deal.

“You’ve got thirty minutes! I don’t want to get in trouble if they come home early!” Finn yelled.

“Plenty of time!” Blaine yelled to them over his shoulder, still tugging Kurt along. When the bedroom door slammed everyone within earshot burst out laughing.

“Man, I thought those two were going to combust if they didn’t get some alone-time soon,” Mercedes said.

“Finn, why would you get in trouble if Burt caught them upstairs?” Rory asked.

“Because I should know better. Burt logic,” Finn mumbled through the mud. “Hey Rach, can we get this thing off yet?”

\--

It was almost midnight by the time Burt and Carole got back to the house. It wasn’t like Burt had expected that a house full of teenagers left alone on a Saturday night would have gone quietly to bed at a reasonable hour, but he was surprised to see a few faces that weren’t there when they left.

“Carole I think they multiplied.”

Carole was hanging up her coat and turned around. “What?” Burt nodded toward the half dozen kids sprawled out in the living room, watching a movie. Finn and Rachel were cuddled on one end of the couch, but everything seemed pretty tame overall.

“Oh. Hi Mr. Hummel,” Brittany said. 

“Hi. When did you guys get here?”

“I don’t know. A while ago?” Brittany wiggled her toes in the air. “Kurt painted my toes for me.”

Burt smiled. “Nice. Speaking of my son, do any of you know where I might find him?”

“Kurt’s downstairs Burt,” Finn said. “He didn’t want to watch horror movies.”

Burt nodded. “Not a surprise.” 

Carole said goodnight to the kids and went upstairs, Burt opting to check on the group downstairs. Kurt and MIke were rehearsing some dance moves on one corner - okay, not so strange, and a few of the boys were playing Call of Duty. On the other side of the old couch Blaine was sitting on the floor with a box Burt recognized as Kurt’s mani/pedi kit. He sighed. Blaine appeared to be giving Artie a pedicure.

“Hi guys. How was your night?” A chorus of ‘great’ and ‘cool thanks’ and ‘awesome Mr. Hummel’ answered him. “It’s getting kind of late, is everyone planning on staying?” He glanced at Blaine on the floor.

Kurt stopped his footwork and looked up. “If that’s okay Dad, we can probably find room.”

Burt nodded, glancing at Blaine again. “I think the air mattresses are in the laundry room.” He knew he’d regret it, but he had to know. “Blaine?”  
“Yes Burt?” Blaine looked up, the smile on his face was the same quietly sincere smile he always had for everyone. Burt raised an eyebrow. “Oh.” He looked at Artie’s feet. “I lost a bet.”

“For what sort of bet is the penalty ‘give Artie a pedicure?’” Not that he was sure really wanted the answer.

”Actually Burt,” Puck said, “we picked Artie because we figured his feet would probably be the cleanest-”

Kurt piped in. “Excuse me?”

“Well after mistress Hummel over there. But it didn’t seem like much punishment for Blaine to have to paint Kurt’s toenails. So we opted for Artie.”

“You know what? I don’t need to hear anymore. You’re all still alive and no one burned the house down. Kurt - come help me get these mattresses and you guys can start blowing them up. Boys downstairs, girls upstairs, okay.”

“I think I will stay upstairs with the girls, we still have things to talk about after all,” Kurt said. “But I will help blow up the mattresses.” He winked at Blaine and took a few semi-graceless leaps toward the laundry room.

Burt looked around and frowned. “Where’s Sam? He wasn’t upstairs.”

Everyone looked around. “Maybe he’s with Mercedes?” Blaine offered. When everyone looked at him he continued. “He said he needed to talk to her about something.” 

Kurt and Blaine exchanged a half second look, then Kurt ran up the stairs. Through the living room, out onto the front porch, which was empty. He walked around the house to the backyard, where Sam and Mercedes were sitting on deck chairs. Thankfully, Kurt thought, they were only talking.

“Hey guys,” Kurt broke into their conversation. “Dad said everyone who wanted could stay, so we’re blowing up mattresses and setting up sleeping arrangements. You should come in.”

Mercedes sighed and stood up. “Thanks Kurt.” 

“Girls upstairs in my room or in the living room, boys in the basement,” he told her. 

Once she was gone Kurt climbed up on the deck and sat next to Sam. “Everything okay?”

“I guess. I mean, she’s not breaking up with her boyfriend.”

“Did you really think she would?” Kurt asked.

“I had no idea” Sam answered. “But I told her, whenever she was ready she should let me know. No matter where we are in our lives.”

“Wow, that’s uh, that’s a big promise,” Kurt said. Those were big implications.

“I guess.” Sam picked at the arm of the deck chair with his thumb. “But we’re young, right? We have our whole lives to be young and stupid before we find our way back home.”

Kurt smiled. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” He patted Sam on his knee and stood up. “Come on inside. If we hurry we can get to the air mattresses before Finn blows them up without us.”

Sam jumped out of his chair, chasing Kurt around the house. “No fair! You got a head start!”

\--

Brittany and Santana opted to go home, taking Rory with them, and then Mike when his parents told him he needed to be home so they could leave to visit relatives early the next morning. After the mattresses had been blown up and the boys settled in the basement, Kurt joined Rachel and Mercedes in his room.

“Well,” he said, tucking himself into his bed with Mercedes. Rachel had opted for the cot and solo sleeping this time. “I guess that turned out alright, even if it wasn’t what we had planned on.”

“No, it was fun Kurt,” Rachel said. “And now we have an excuse to schedule another spa night very soon, since we didn’t get all of our gossip in.”

Mercedes sighed, loudly, and Kurt sat back up and looked at her. “And what was that for Ms. Jones? Do you have something you’d like to share with the class?”

Mercedes sat up, settling herself against the headboard to Kurt’s bed. “Well, sort of.” Rachel was sitting up too at this point, and both she and Kurt were paying attention. “Sam really wants to get back together.”

“Sam?” Rachel asked.

“But you told him no, right?” Kurt asked. “I know you and Shane are pretty serious.” Mercedes nodded.

“Yeah, I told him no."

“Were you and Sam that serious before?”

Mercedes made a so-so motion with her hand.

“We broke up mostly because he moved away. But you both know I don’t think we should be putting all our eggs in one basket in high school.” She looked pointedly at both Rachel and Kurt. “We’re young. We’ve all got time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a great time writing this, and once I got started had to really pull back on all the funny stuff I could have included. Thanks for the prompt, KillerQueen80!!

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes form the song "Teenage Kicks" by The Undertones. It doesn't *really* fit Glee, but it was my earworm while writing this and I think the title works.


End file.
